Music, Choice & Meaningful Moments

Hello and welcome,

Thank you so much to all of you who have been forwarding Music & Memories Notes to those in your circle that you think would find it helpful. As one person we can all make a difference, but as a community we can make an even bigger impact for the beautiful residents that we support, care for, and journey alongside each day. Thank you for being a part of that community.

Offering Choice Through Music

Every day, you provide residents with countless opportunities to make choices that support their independence, dignity, and wellbeing. Music is simply one more enjoyable way to offer choice, allowing residents to express their preferences, personality, and memories in ways that feel meaningful to them.

Music & Memories Moments

When running Music & Memories sessions, I am always intentionally using choice as a foundation of the experience.

Rather than expecting everyone to participate in the same way, residents are gently invited to engage in whatever way feels comfortable and meaningful for them.

When asking residents if they have a favourite song or singer they would like me to play, there have been some beautiful responses where their song choice has taken them back to a moment in time…

My husband sang “Blue Moon” to me when he proposed
My Grandmother would always sing “You are my Sunshine” to me
“I remember sitting having a beer with friends after a day showing livestock at the Agricultural Show in Victoria when Slim Dusty came on stage to perform.”

I also watch carefully for non-verbal responses and choices.

A smile, eye contact, tapping fingers, humming, relaxed posture, movement, or emotional response can all help show preference and enjoyment. I will shorten a song if there is limited response and play it in its entirety if the group is “choosing” the song through being engaged with it.

Try This Today: Bringing Choice into your Music Time

You do not need to be a musician to create meaningful musical moments.

Here are some simple ways you might try this in your own music time:

• Offer two familiar songs and ask which one residents would prefer
• Say, “Would you like something lively or something gentle today?”
• Place out simple instruments and invite residents to choose one (or none). “Would you like a scarf, shaker, or no prop today?”
• Encourage movement in any form. Tapping, swaying, clapping, or watching…“Would you like to clap along or simply listen today?”
• Pause after a song and ask, “Would you like another like that?”
• “Which song should we sing next?”

Helpful approaches may include:

• Offering simple choices rather than too many options
• Using familiar songs as prompts
• Watching for non-verbal responses
• Respecting when a resident declines
• Encouraging without pressuring
• Joining in alongside residents
• Mirroring gentle movements to support confidence

Your sessions may include:

• Favourite song requests
• “Choose the next song” moments
• Gentle dance opportunities
• Instrument choices
• Musical reminiscence conversations
• Small group singalongs
• Relaxation and listening experiences
• Opportunities for residents to share memories connected to music

There is no pressure to participate in any particular way.

Some residents may sing every word. Others may smile quietly. Some may move gently in their chair. Others may simply enjoy listening.

Sometimes the most powerful part of music time is simply slowing down enough to let people choose how they want to be involved.

And sometimes, the most meaningful choice of all is simply being invited.

Familiar Music and Identity

Favourite songs often reflect identity and life story.

Music choices may remind residents of:

• Childhood and family
• Courtship and weddings
• Cultural traditions
• Social dancing and celebrations
• Parenting and family life
• Travel and special memories
• Personal style and personality

When residents choose songs, they are often sharing part of themselves.

Even residents who communicate very little verbally may still clearly show preference through facial expression, movement, eye contact, singing, or emotional response.

Dancing With Respect, Choice and Safety

Lots of you have been experiencing the new Dancing Days Music & Memories session. Wow, it has been so much fun, and a privilege to share it with so many of your residents.

One of the joys of facilitating Dancing Days Music & Memories has been noticing the many ways residents choose to participate…

• Smiles that appear before the music even starts
• Feet tapping and hands gently moving without prompting
• Residents choosing their own way to join in by singing, watching, or simply feeling the rhythm
• Laughter that spreads across the room when movement is mirrored together
• Moments of recognition when a familiar song begins
• A wonderful sense of connection and togetherness

It has reminded me again that music is never just about performance. It is about presence, connection, and offering people the opportunity to choose how they would like to participate.

Some residents enjoy dancing, while others prefer toe tapping, hand swaying, singing along, or simply watching and sharing the experience. Every response is meaningful.

The goal is not to get everyone dancing. The goal is to create opportunities for choice, enjoyment, confidence, comfort, and connection through music.

As always, you know your residents best. Use your professional judgement, knowledge of individual care plans, mobility needs, safety requirements and organisational guidelines when supporting any movement-based activity.

Questions & Answers

Q: What if a resident doesn’t make a clear choice?

A: Choice is not always verbal. Watch for small signs such as facial expression, body movement, eye contact, or emotional response. These often tell us more than words.

Q: What if a resident says “no” to participating?

A: A “no” is still a choice and should always be respected. Often residents will still benefit from being present, listening, or observing in their own way.

Q: How many choices should I offer at one time?

A: Keep it simple. Two options are often enough. Too many choices can feel overwhelming, especially for people living with cognitive changes.

Q: Can choice still be used in group sessions?

A: Yes. Group sessions can still offer choice through song selection, movement options, instruments, or deciding how to participate (sing, listen, move, or observe).

A Gentle Reminder

Thank you for reflecting on how powerful simple choice can be in our work. Something as small as choosing a song, choosing to listen, or choosing to move in a gentle way can completely shape a resident’s experience of a moment.

In personal care, meals, movement, activities, and conversation, you are constantly offering choices, reading non-verbal cues, and adjusting your support so residents can maintain dignity, comfort, and independence. You do this so naturally that it can easily go unrecognised, but it is a deeply skilled and important part of care and it makes a difference.

The beautiful thing is you are already doing this every day.

Music offers you one more opportunity.

Wishing you and your residents many meaningful moments.

With thanks and gratitude,